Honesty

There comes a point in a young person's life where he must accept everything that happened to him. I've reached that point. It's time I understand the experiences I've had and decide what I'm going to take forward with me, at least in the immediate future. Soon, this won't just be in a physical possessions and memory evidence sense.

Those things are rather fleeting, but the things that stay with us, at least stay with me, are the decisions I've made, the things I've done to the people around me and the experiences I chose or fell into in the course of events that compose my life.

It's easy to put something, some memory, some idea in the back of my mind and hope it stays there. Eventually, that pile of crap I stored in the far corner of the attic need to be sifted through. When I open that dusty box, the contents are just shadows of the original. It takes time to digest and understand what it is I'm holding in my hand: "is it a shirt? or a banner? Oh, wait, what did I use this for again?" It's all very familiar but ephemeral, dream-like, intangible.

Recently, I opened one of those boxes dirty and taped up boxes. It didn't make sense to me what I was looking at. Literally, I saw a dark cloud that was threatening to rain inside the box. Slowly, I pulled apart the layers and could see the mangled truth.

It feels good to put that irritant into a box, push it to the back of the pile and face the other side of the room. But eventually, it needs to be opened. There's no other option. The longer we wait, the more we put off rediscovering the contents, the bigger the box gets, the more mold it builds, the more brutal and dangerous the storm becomes. Have that storm knock down bushes, not telephone poles.

A Series of Choices

I am almost certain that the following revelation has been discovered and understood time and time again but I will say it anyway. Everything in existence is a series of yes or no questions.

First, the question of existence, does X exist, or not? Second, depending on the nature of the item in question, could be along the lines of does it have matter or do I, as a human, have the ability to recognize it? Contemplate this a while.

Once you get passed the existentialism, you get to questions more related to ability and function. For example, can a human eat a chicken? Can I walk 500 miles?

Once what can and cannot be done has been determined and completely explored, the questions become a matter of choosing to commit an action or not. Every single particle in the universe can participate and be examined using these yes/no questions until the question of choices arise. At that point, in my opinion, only animate beings can participate and at varying degrees depending on various elements such as instincts. But humans, when faced with a problem or dilemma often throw in questions of morality or righteousness before inquiring about willingness.

Either way, almost anything can be “figured out” with yes/no questions. But when grappling with those difficult decisions, a choice is always made, yes, or no. As humans, I think we all try to consistently pick the best one, even if it seems like a bad one.

Japanese Banks! (Ass Kicking via Financial Institution)

My mission today was to buy a bus pass and send money to my mom in the US from my Japanese account.

Mission 1: Purchase Bus Pass
Its 8:30am and I approach the bus terminal ticketing window. I pass my proof of student discount under the glass because I don't know how to say "Bus Pass" in Japanese. The 50-something woman, looks at me, frowns. "Here, fill this out over there." Taking the bus pass request slip that I was told I didn't need by my school yesterday morning, and begin to fill it out. It took me about 3 solid minutes of just scanning the sheet to figure out where my name, address, pass start date, and school info goes. Once I filled it out to my best ability, I go up to the window where the younger, and somewhat nicerlooking ticketing agent is--the older woman is still frowning at me. She smiles sweetly and I pass the form and proof of student discount to her. All seems to have been performed according to expectations because she starts making my pass.

It hits me, how much is this gonna cost? She finishes and tells me the price "27500円". Shit, I only have 12,000 on me.

"Can you hold on a second, I'm going to go to the ATM for more money. I'll be right back!"

I run to the ATM two blocks away and try to use my BofA card in the ATM. "This card cannot be used" flashes accross the screen. Shit. I switch cards and wow, it works! Here's where my idiocy (others would say bubbly nature) fucks up my day, I can't remember how much the pass was. I take out 10000yen and hope its enough. I run back, shit, still short by 2500yen. I run for the second time to and fro with 5000yen worth of fresh bills in my wallet.

Mission 1: Successfully completed.


Mission 2: International Money Transfer
After getting my bus pass, I walk for the 3rd time back to the bank and wait, it won't open 'til 9 (current time: 8:45). 9:00:00AM open! In I walk, and look around. Shit, where do I do this?. Awkwardly and in terribly broken Japanese, I ask a security guard "Where can I transfer funds?" He says the 2nd floor. Everyone in the room, during the duration of the 30 second conversation turned to look at me. A strange old man is standing 3 ft from me and asks in what I call Katakana English if there is a problem? No, I'm fine. Up to the second floor I go.

So, I've been sitting in front of the clerk for 30 minutes and we have successfully filled out 40% of the form. For every sentence she says, I use my dictionary at least twice to understand the keywords. This process is a long and drawn out one. Eventually I leave the bank an hour and a half after entering, feeling somewhat satisfied that I've successfully sent my money.

Mission 2: Transfer Complete. WRONG!
I was $500 short on my payment to my mom. damnitalltohell.

money matters + language barriers = frustration.