June 28, 2014

Grad school skate - day 38

I was disappointed yesterday for not finding my friend on the trail. Instead I found some sprouts to transplant in my garden. I also found the trail to be newly paved--perfect for skating!

Today, I went skating on said new pavement and had a good session. I even challenged myself to skate on the road next to the trail. It was going well until I hit an obstacle in the road moving too slowly and fell off my board.

Big takeaways: Wear elbow pads because I'm guaranteed to fall. Skating on quite roads isn't as scary as I thought it would be.

June 08, 2014

Conversational Growth

I had the pleasure of making conversation with a stranger a few nights ago. There is an art to making conversation, and when two people come together, sometimes this collaboration yields beautiful results. This time, it did. I left the conversation feeling exhausted as usual, invigorated, and incredibly vulnerable. 

I'm used to spiritual revitalization from mutually supporting my Buddhist community members. I rely on my parents and friends (more heavily than parentals) for emotional revitalization. But it was a strange sensation to feel anything other than drained from interacting with a potential partner. That probably says more about my tendency toward the role of emotional caretaker in romantic relationships than I'd prefer, but I digress.

Initially, I was surprised that I felt vulnerable afterwards, intellectually and emotionally. It's been a very long time since I've felt like that. In the moment, I decided to trust him, even if on a very small scale like telling deeply personal stories of my past. As I digested the reasons why I felt so exposed, I saw that time has taught me to be logical and force partners to access my heart at a slower pace than my heart wants to be accessed. Is that a symptom of being too trusting in my youth and subsequently burned by my partners? Or is it a part of my red-hot heart slowly cooling as I amass wisdom and spend more time in this world?

Because I recognized this trust-aversion at all and because of my residual feelings of emotional defenselessness, I see that I do still have the capacity to trust partners. That's wonderful! In the last six months--when I determined to take a furlough from dating--I wondered if that ["trusting"] muscle was shriveled up and slowly dying… If I can in fact exert that muscle, would it be an act of naivety or faith? I guess that depends on perspective…



June 03, 2014

Grad school skate - day 13

Took a pretty harsh fall today on my right side. I was wearing sleeves so my skin is less damaged than the last fall. My hip will probably have a massive bruise come tomorrow afternoon... Lastly, my nose got bruised from my sunglasses hitting my helmet, which hit the pavement. Ouch. It also seems I somehow busted my ankle last week, so peddling and breaking was painful today. Double ouch.

As I was trying to keep practicing while my elbow burned, hip throbbed, and ankle made me wince, I contemplated the reasons why I subject myself to so much physical pain? Am I a masochist deep down? Is skating worth it? 

The more I skated on, the more I understood that I genuinely enjoy skateboarding. It's something I've always appreciated. Now it's finally my turn to skate through the pain, get over my scrapes and bruises, and fulfill a wish from my younger days.

May 28, 2014

Grad School Skate - day 07

I need to take it easy. I've skated every day since last Thursday. When I woke up today, my legs were so sore that I almost hobbled into the kitchen. Never have I physically resembled my nickname, "grandma," than today. Why grandma? I more readily knit and crochet at home rather than go out with my classmates--especially Friday nights. Additionally, I can see why the stereotypical skater's hobbies include skating every chance possible, but also long video game sessions--skating is exhausting and the body must recharge. Since taking up this hobby, I have finally finished LEGO Batman 2, which has taken me two years to finish.

May 26, 2014

Grad school skate - day 05

I feel like I finally got to something close to cruising. It felt wonderful to have my body and board meld into one, one vessel to hold my mind and soul. The process of cruising, the adventure of riding is calming yet chalk full of unadulterated fun.

I've never really done anything simply for me and my own enjoyment. But this feels like something that is 100% mine and no one else has a say as to what or how I do my thing ("thang"). That feels wonderful. 

Even if I keep skating on the same surfaces--which to date have bored me after I ride them back and forth for a few hours--I want to achieve something close to that mental state again. 

Now, what do I want to call my board? Hm...

Big takeaways: I enjoy skating!

May 25, 2014

Grad school skate - day 04

I started my day by driving around town for 20 min looking for a smooth, mildly inclined, long and wide strip of relatively uninterrupted pavement. The skate park here in town is too small for cruising, though at 8AM on a Sunday, the park was empty except a couple of 10 year old girls and their spectator moms. Lucky for me, the local shopping center parking lot is so unnecessarily vast for our community that I found an empty, out of the way area to practice.


I have a few tricks to get people to leave me alone during practice: 1) go to the spot early enough in the morning when no one else is there 2) it's so early that any cop/security guard will see my dedication and diligence, thus hopefully won't ask me to find a new spot. 3) I'm a girl on a skateboard--rare sight but not miraculous and somehow this makes me less of a trouble maker?  4) I practice alone, most won't bother me except with a morning greeting. But if I had a crew with me, some would say it's bad for business and we'd be asked to move along. Since none of my friends cruise, I don't really have a hard time finding places to ride .

Today I was a bit ambitious and started from a higher altitude than I may not have been ready to tackle--yet. While going downhill rather quickly, my board was tilting left and right uncontrollably. I was certainly pushing myself. Thanks to my diligent practice with balance, I didn't fall off (!!) despite the [kinda] high speed bunny-hill bombing. But, I was also really lucky because there were no cars were around me. Had a car approached me from the front or back, I would have hurt myself for sure.


May 22, 2014

Grad school skate - Day 01

On the right  is my gruesome first-ever skate injury. I scraped through 2 layers of skin on the back of my elbow which is not pictured here because I couldn't get a good shot of it one handed.

This session went pretty well. I was practicing in the alley behind my apartment using the open garage area as my first balance practice space. The pole that supports the garage ceiling is great for keeping balance when you first have none.

Below are my tools. Not pictured is my biking helmet. As I am a poor grad student, I can't afford to have more than two items that serve the same function outside of clothing. I look like a tool wearing the wrong helmet but I am also a 24-year-old lady skateboarder, and tool-dom is unavoidable as most of my age group has moved on from this sport.
Tools: Vans skate shoes (inside design by Alien Workshop), ~30" Alien Workshop complete skateboard borrowed from a friend
Big takeaways: learn how to fall, ASAP

May 21, 2014

Grad School Skate - Rationale

I've never been one to follow the crowd, or be just another sheep in the heard. But does this explain why I wanted to finally learn how to skateboard at the age of 24? Partially.

I grew up with skaters around me, all of whom were men / boys. I always liked what skateboarding represented - counter culture, self expression, making a playground out of the urban landscape around us, and constantly pushing yourself to be bigger and better.

Maybe I didn't think I was coordinated enough (I wasn't). Maybe I was intimidated because there was one girl skater for every 5-10 boys at the skate park (I also didn't have very much self-confidence back then).

Maybe it was just street skating that was never really my thing. To me, street skating was less about getting around and more about doing tricks and getting hurt. It has always seemed too masculine for my taste and I have never been one to identify with overtly masculine activities.

Cruising on the other hand...