In response to Mr. 91, I am in a relationship with someone, who I just happened to first interact with online. We haven't decided on any plausible lies to tell the friends and family who don't know we were members of the growing masses of young and old who can't seem to find a date IRL, thus resorting to the stigmatized (and rightly so--Hell Is OKCupid) world of online dating.
Theoretically speaking, when a relationship begins, and it is exclusive in nature, one should take herself off the market. For online dating, I could change my status, yes, or I could just disable my profile. That wasn't a very hard decision to make. If you haven't perused tumblrs like Hell is OKCupid, then you should invest 5 minutes and do it.
There are plenty of relatively "normal" people on such websites, but there are also some weirdos that women especially have to be weary of. As I alluded to in Mr. 91, there are certain mental filters that potential IRL meetups have to pass through in order to be considered at all. Because, yes, an auto-character reference, however long or short, is baiting a specific type of fish, (hopefully me?) but is still tremendously revealing about the writer--in terms of content and technical language/overall demeanor/vibe. Discerning between normal and psycho and all the shades in between is daunting at worst. But once you find a potentially great person, it brings a level of euphoria and excitement all its own.
Profiles, pictures, messages, answers to ridiculously ambiguous questions, and IMs exchanged until the wee hours of the morning, what do these all have in common? To start, they are glimpses, flashes, snapshots, a tiny window into an entire person, an entire life. However countless many bits of information you might be granted access to, they will never collectively nor independently define the person you are looking at 100%. Knowing someone your entire life, living with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until death do you part is the only way to fully "know" someone. (To that point, how well do I know my best friends? hmm...) But back to my point...
It wasn't until the fourth or fifth date that I knew for sure I wanted to spend more time with this person in front of me. It wasn't until several profound conversations had been had, several adventures had been shared, several misadventures had been suffered, and several long moments of vulnerability that this person I originally met online started occupying a noticeable space in my heart. Even then, it was difficult to let myself fall completely into this persons arms, precisely because I didn't know him.
Searching for a partner online, jumping into a committed relationship, meeting a potential mate in person, all of these activities ask for faith. Faith that you will indeed find someone who is compatible and worth your energy, faith your heart won't be broken in the end, faith that the meetup will not end in a physically dangerous situation, etc.
